Dear Brotherhood: I know you’re real, and I’m waiting for my part in your story. Dear KMM: I know you’re loving this new direction, but I want the hot sex back, and I want my Highlanders, and I want you to stop trying to be Ward. Also, I want the hott sexx backk. Dear Santa: You’re getting the year off from my house. Lucky you.
Dear boy I like: I’ll hold your hand whenever you like. I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. On a more personal note, I’m not giving up my pants. But I’ll always try to keep them out of the bed (=^.^)
Dear little nephew: Upon first hearing of your existence, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I wanted to be a part of your life. As such, I have been allowed to be your loving, ridiculous Auntie, and I find I miss your smiles, and blurbs, and faces every day. I thank God for giving me the pleasure of your giggles, and (in my opinion) of bringing me and one of my best friends a lot closer than we ever were. Also, I am fully prepared for the costs of all the cute/manly stuff I have to buy you. I love you love you love you! p.s. I’m still darned determined to be your favorite aunt.
Dear ex: I found someone who isn’t psychologically emasculated by my ability to fix a leaky pipe, change a tire, or talk about Ray Lewis. He’s my hero, and you should learn a thing about how to treat a woman.